Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Heavy

I want to run. And run hard and fast until my body dissolves into dust and disipates up into the night sky and to just float for a while.

Sometimes I find the world to be saddening. The news screams of bodies found, conspiracys discovered, unsolvable wars being fought, and differing tragedies that hold mankind firmly in this state of unrest.

It's all about love.

And I don't mean romantic, 'Lady and the Tramp'-noses-touching, love.

Just love. Just taking care of each other-physically, mentally, emotionally, socially, etc. Just giving up on being selfish, on being spiteful, on being cold...

Why is it that night always brings reflection? To me it is simply that it is night. The darkness makes people feel like they are hidden, they are protected, they are a little less vulnerable and so...in this darkness...people often open up the most. Not to mention the fact that we have been worn down by a day of work/adventure/interactions/learning/thoughts and our mind is scrambling to organize it all-nearly aching for sleep to come and the filing system of dreams to sort the chaos.

And so-it is during the night that I often find myself laying in bed thinking, "What am I doing?" as I review the day behind me and the future before me. And sometimes it feels heavy. It just feels heavy and unrelenting and the map keeps changing and never stays clear. But it is in these moments that I find clarity. I don't know how to answer all of my questions. I don't know when I will know how to answer all of my questions. But I know this...If I love and allow others to love-then nothing can ever be that bad.

Life is love.

And maybe I'm naive...I don't know...and maybe I don't care to know...because I'm going to live like this forever and when I see that future...it's nothing heavy.

1 comment:

  1. I do all of my great thinking in the shower... Thus when Rachel yells at me that I'm taking to long and hogging all the hot water I just yell, "Hey, I'm thinking in here!"

    Then she yells back, "Well can you think with a bucket of cold water thrown on you?!" That ends my thinking pretty quick.

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