Monday, September 14, 2009

Where the Sidewalk Ends...

I think I like to think that things are meant to be. And in five years when I am reflecting back on the past 27 years as opposed to the past 22 it may seem that way. Because the paths I will choose and the paths I have chosen will lead me somewhere naturally. Right? Looking forward it's harder to feel that way-but sometimes...

I just want to sit down with Fate or Destiny or both, have a lil fresh fruit and ice water, and have a nice, friendly chat to ask the following questions-

-I'm meant to be this person's friend, aren't I? It just happened too smoothly and is too perfectly for it not to be...
-So I've been given these traits, had 'em since I was pequeñ this why? Or is it for some other part of my life that I just don't see coming...
-Why is it that every time I go to give up, and when I say 'give up' I mean flat-out-give-up-run-the-other-direction, on Life Path #39 something draws me back to it...
-Why did you let Life Path #39/40/41 happen?
-Was I meant to meet Person A because they would know Person B who knew Person C and D and were they meant to be in my life for a while to teach me something? Or did it just happen to work out that way?
-Did that happen to both of us so we could understand each other?
-Why then and not now?
-Why now and not then?
-Why did her life go that way and my life this way though we seem to be built for it to be the other way around?
-Was I supposed to finish that book at the time I did so that I would learn more than I could have any other way from it?
-Why can't they just find a job now? Why are they going through this time?
-Did that whole thing mean something?
-Why here? Why there?
-Was she meant to come into my life in someway, and that way didn't matter, as long as she was there, as long as our paths crossed?
-Did that whole car accident thing happen for a reason? Cause I don't necessarily feel like I learned anything from that...and it hurt...
-Are you really taking care of me? It really is all going to work out for the best, right?

Either way. So far so good...and I'm looking forward to my 27th birthday...

1 comment:

  1. --why do i still feel this way for him? does that have a deeper meaning?? or am I just weak?
    --i believe in agency, but what about fate? or the great plan of happiness? i chose to be adventurous, but is that stopping me from a greater happiness? did i miss out? am i missing out?

    anyways, great post becs. i miss you and your deep thoughts. love you so much.